Who am I?

 

Babynames.com says my name means sweet, pleasant and is of Persian origin.

I think my name is kinda boring so I want to be more than my name. I don’t like being called Sher. I tolerate it from some people but I’m not particularly fond of it. My mother said she had a cat named Sher or knew a cat named Sher (not sure which) so that makes it even worse.

But who am I? Depending on who you are, where I am and what I am doing, I wear a different hat. Each hat is me. These hats are the roles I play in this journey called life. No one hat defines me. Who I am is inconclusive even with all hats on. I am still evolving. I am still growing. I am still changing and adapting and I dare say adopting. 

I wear many hats. Sometimes I wear too many (depending on how I feel) and other times not enough (based on my thoughts). I don’t like ambiguities and I hate to be misunderstood or misinterpreted.

From I was about 13/14 I started writing my first novel (that sounds like I have about a hundred novels under my belt). Lol. Far from it. I don’t even have one. My love for writing begun at the onset of my teenage years; inspired by Mills and Boons. But here I am almost 3 decades later with no book, not even a diary or a journal. That’s not true - I have a prayer journal; one in which I don’t write often enough. (Please don’t tell God). Which brings me to the fact that I am also on a Christian journey.

I am a curious person. I like to find out things. I like to think. I like to know things. I like to know how and why things are the way they are. To satisfy my curiosity I ask questions, I listen, I read, I analyze. A friend of mine says that I am an over thinker. That’s me. I can’t help it.

Since my first love is reading, why do I write? Why am I here since blogging is for writers. I have a desire to write about my passions (still haven’t quite figured that all out yet), my dreams, my pains, my hurts, my visions and my ideas. I want to tell the stories about my hats to an audience in which I can be myself and inspire someone.

More than anything I am here to discover myself, to grow, to develop, to figure out my niche and to morph into that HAT (whatever that is). Sounds confusing? Don’t worry, I like to explain.

After all, a butterfly becomes a butterfly by first being a caterpillar in a chrysalis. I know not when or what I will morph into but someone once told me that the journey is often times more enjoyable than the destination.

My blogs will be about the many hats that I wear, struggle to wear, want to wear or just don’t even have. It will be about how I wear these different hats, how I try them on and what I look like in a hat that fits perfectly on my head. It will also be about what I look like and feel when these hats fall off. Additionally, my blogs will be about how I try to fit into hats that are not my size or my style. It will be about how I wear hats that are not even mine to begin with, how I want to stop wearing some hats because they are too big or too small or just does not suit me or has stopped suiting me or my style.

There will be times when my hats will be on. Sometimes they’ll be off. Sometimes I will be dying to take a hat off and many times dying to wear a particular a different one. Sometimes my hat will be a little crooked, off-white, dusty, straight or just damned dirty (pardon my language) on this journey. But it’s a journey that I want to share with you. Why? Because I am an “ordinairey” woman. I don’t have it all figured. Maybe we can do it together. I hope you can keep up as I strive for that white hat. 

What type of hats do you wear?

-eS